


Light Is In Your Heart

by anon_nim, Baekbitficfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 15:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_nim/pseuds/anon_nim, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekbitficfest/pseuds/Baekbitficfest
Summary: Baekhyun falls in love with Jongdae - bits by bits, until he doesn't have anything left.





	Light Is In Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to leave some lovely comments for the writer!
> 
> Thanks for reading <3

__**prompt #:** 52  
**title** : Light Is In Your Heart  
**pairing** : Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae  
**rating** : G  
**word count** : 3.8k  
**warning** (s): very brief mention of suicide (kind of)  
**fic summary:** Baekhyun falls in love with Jongdae - bits by bits, until he doesn't have anything left.  
**author note(s** ): dear prompter, I'm sorry if I ruin your prompt because it's so lovely I can't help but to claim the second I saw it, I hope you like this nonetheless. To Mel, my amazing beta thank you as always. And for the hardworking mods, it has been fun, thank you!!

 

 

_People used to say Baekhyun had the biggest heart like it was the saddest thing in the whole world._

 

He met Jongdae for the first time at Minseok’s place.

“Baekhyun! You came early, is that a present?”

Baekhyun smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s not much but I hope you like it, hyung.”

Minseok’s smile only grows wider.

They chat for a while before being interrupted by a series of knocks. Minseok goes to open the door while Baekhyun tries to fix his hair. Everything in Minseok’s living room is neat and in its place, Baekhyun unconsciously licks his lips in anticipation.

He’s a little worried about the party though. He has known Minseok for years, and they treat each other like the long lost brother they never had, being both only children and all. But their friends never overlap because of their age gap.

Baekhyun only knows Lu Han – Minseok’s boyfriend – and Kris, a dorky man with a gummy smile which he hides under a hard and stoic face. There’s Junmyeon too, Minseok's cousin. Last time he heard Joonmyun and Kris has decided to make it official between them, he wonders –

“Baek, this is my cousin, Jongdae.”

Baekhyun’s eyes flicker to the older man. Beside Minseok, a boy – man? – with high cheekbones and twinkling eyes watching him in amusement.

His mouth curls up a little. “Hi, I’m Kim Jongdae. Nice to meet you, Baek?”

“Oh, hi!” Baekhyun quickly stands, offering his hand. “Its Byun Baekhyun. And nice to meet you too.”

Jongdae shakes his hand – it’s warm and soft and almost feels too good to be true – and smiles. This time wider that the first; and Baekhyun thinks the way the corners of his mouth pull up makes him look kittenish. Baekhyun smiles too, a little caught off guard with how gorgeous Kim Jongdae is. And as fast as it happens, it ends just as quickly, Jongdae pulls his hand back.

Baekhyun kinda misses the warmth already.

 

 

“We study at the same uni and have the same friends! How could we have never meet each other before – after all these years, really?”

Baekhyun agrees (and he blames Minseok for that). “Maybe that’s because we took such different majors that are somehow the _far_ opposite of each other.”

Jongdae snorts. “It’s the universe’s doing.”

When they sit together and talk about everything and nothing (they’re both somehow stuck together in the corner of Minseok’s living room), Baekhyun realizes a piece of his heart is gone. It leaves a broken gap, but there’s a heartwarming feeling left. He stares at Jongdae in disbelief. And he wonders..

 

_He doesn’t understand._

 

The next time they meet, it’s weeks after Minseok’s party.

Baekhyun curses his luck for ignoring the forecast and leaving his umbrella _and_ raincoat at his dorm, only wearing a hooded jacket. He contemplates running straight to the bus stop when something nudges his shoulder.

“Baekhyun? Why are you here?”

Baekhyun gulps. “Oh, Jongdae!” He grimaces, why does he sounds so.. squeaky? “Er.. I study here?”

“Of course you do!” Jongdae chuckles. Baekhyun wants to bottle it up and treasure it for the rest of his life, but alas he can only hope. “I mean, why are you in this part of the campus? I thought you were in the music department?”

“Yeah, I met a friend of mine, he’s engineering major.”

Jongdae nods, seeming pleased by his answer. He glances at the man, trying to remember every curve of his face, counting his moles and – “Well, I’ll just get going then,” Jongdae says.

“Wait! It’s still raining.”

Jongdae swings his transparent umbrella violently. “I bought an umbrella, Baekhyun,” He says.

Baekhyun pretty sure he didn’t see that _thing_ minutes ago. “Oh, okay. Cool.” He tries to school his face, not to let it show just how disappointed he is. Jongdae doesn’t even ask him if he wants to share – not that he wants to, no. He only wants to talk a little bit longer to Jongdae, maybe if he –

“Jeez, Baekhyun!” Jongdae laughs uncontrollably. “You should see your face, you’re pouting! Like a kicked puppy!”

What? “I am not! And did you just call me a dog?!”

“No, I call you a _puppy_ ,” Jongdae counters. He’s not quite done with the laughter and Baekhyun doesn’t have the guts to be offended, not when Jongdae looks so handsome and young and happy in front of him (because of him too, indeed). “Anyway, I’m just joking. Let’s go, you can tag along with me.”

“Where to?”

Jongdae is already opening the umbrella and tugging him under, their shoulders brushing against each other. “Your choice, of course. You don’t want to stuck here forever, right? Come on!”

“Okay.”

“We should shift closer, your shoulders are dripping wet.”

“And so are yours.”

“That’s okay, at least I can get your phone number in the end.”

Baekhyun starts, but Jongdae only grins at him. “That.. can be arranged.”

Jongdae hums in agreement.

Later, when Baekhyun is safe once again in his sanctuary, he can feel the warmth of the other man. Like a shadow touch, lingering on his skin. Another piece has fallen too.

 

_There’s so many different kinds of love; for your family, friends, inanimate objects, nature, pets, or the love of your life._

 

Baekhyun works part time at a cozy coffee shop near his dorm. Minseok visits daily, to fulfill his coffee dose for the day. Sometimes he’s alone. Other times he’s with Lu Han. They would talk for hours and laugh in the corner, or just finish whatever paperwork they have.

When the days are really slow and he got nothing to do, Baekhyun would stare. He would see how Lu Han always ended up watching Minseok instead of actually doing any real work. Or how Minseok seemed pleased with Lu Han antics and encouraged them. Sometimes, they would whisper to each other and holding hands under the table.

He wants that too. That kind of love. The stares, the lingering touches and whispered sweet nothings. Someone to hold and lean on. He felt jealous sometimes.

But they’re not coming today, and he feels lonely instead.

 

_The love of your life however, plays a significant part of your life. You love, they reciprocate – and you prevail._

 

“I love cute things.”

Baekhyun snorts. “Excuse me?”

“It’s extremely normal you know.”

“I bet it is.”

“Hey!” Jongdae kicks his foot playfully. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Baekhyun blushes and coughs.

“I used to buy things like, couple rings, cute little keychains and bracelets to share with Minseok-hyung.”

He vaguely remembers Minseok tidy desk, decorated with cute-shiny-little snippets. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? Minseok-hyung loves them too.”

“Aren’t you supposed to share those with your girlfriend?” Baekhyun tries to mask his apprehensive feeling with mock indignant. He’s not sure what he expected from the other man, but it wasn’t this. He takes a deep breath and waits.

Jongdae is silent for a moment, munches his muffin and swallows. “Well, at that time I had no girlfriend.”

“I see.” Baekhyun nods.

“But I have someone I like now,so maybe I can share it with them. What do you think, Baek?”

He doesn’t want to be rude, but – “I think I need to go to the restroom.”

He misses the quizzical look that Jongdae throws at him before the man mumbles, “Yeah, sure.”

This time, his heart breaks. It’s gone in little bits, not by pieces – and leaves a pang of hurt. But he knows they stay with Jongdae, still.

__

_You love, they not – and you perish._

Baekhyun sits on the edge of Jongdae's bed. They planned to see the latest movie at the cinema, but Jongdae seems rather occupied at the moment. He is wearing glasses, and Baekhyun couldn't help but stare when he first arrived at Jongdae's flat. 

He sighs. "We can always go later, you know." 

"No, it's okay. I'll just finish this, and we're ready to go." 

Baekhyun heaves another sigh. Jongdae has been telling him _that_ since twenty minutes ago – not that he doesn't appreciate the view though. He can watch the man with ease, not even pretending he has anything else to do. And Jongdae doesn't even mind, too busy with his assignment. 

"You know what, just finish those things and we can watch Netflix together." 

At this, Jongdae finally pays him some attention. "What? But you said you want to watch –" 

"I know, but you seem busy. And it's late, I just want to snuggle inside a blanket." With Jongdae, preferably. 

Jongdae face scrunches a little, and Baekhyun wants to screams like a teenage girl cause it's so damn adorable. After a few minutes Jongdae nods in resignation, finally accepting that they aren't going anywhere soon. 

"Okay. I'm sorry, though. We can order take out?" 

"Sure." 

"Thank you, Baek." 

"Anything for you, Dae." Oh, if only Jongdae knew how true it is, _anything_. 

_It’s a simple world._

"You smell like coffee." 

"That's because I just finished my part time job at a coffee shop," Baekhyun answers. 

Jongdae looks a little caught off guard. "Really? Where?" 

"It's just two blocks from my dorm. Minseok-hyung comes in often, he didn't tell you?" 

"No? But I think it should be you, who told me about it." 

Baekhyun nods and starts to slumps on Jongdae's bed. He feels tired and the room smells like Jongdae and warm, and Jongdae doesn't seem to mind that he’s taking up all the space. He feels content, maybe he can rest his eyes for a while. 

"..Baek." 

"Hm?" 

"Baekhyun, wake up." 

Baekhyun shifts and snuggles even deeper into the blanket. He thought he heard Jongdae's voice, for a second. He must have fallen asleep at his shift again and dreaming, it can't be – 

"Hey, it’s late already." 

– Jongdae! He quickly sits up straight, – a little disoriented – and he feels the beginning of a headache because he moved too fast. Jongdae is watching him from the chair, his face twitching in amusement. Shoot! Did he fall asleep? 

"You did." 

Huh? Wait, "What?" 

"You fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow," Jongdae says. 

"No! Why didn't you wake me up?!" 

He fell asleep! Unbelievable! 

"You seemed pretty tired, I didn't have the heart." Jongdae snorts. "You snore, I hope you haven’t drooled there as well." 

He hastily wipes his mouth with the corner of his hem. "Fuck off." 

Jongdae's laugh is tinkling, the man already nudging Baekhyun up from the bed. "Come on, it's dinner time, I’ll cook for us." 

"Yeah?" Baekhyun yawns. "What's the occasion?" 

"Your birthday." 

Baekhyun blinks. Thrice, to be exact. "What?" 

"I meant to give you the present and buy you a celebratory dinner, but you fell asleep on me so..” 

“So?” 

Jongdae slips him a little box tied with blue ribbon. He stares, Jongdae only grins – he has half a mind to compare Jongdae with a little kitten Chanyeol cooed at yesterday morning. With a wary glance, he opens the box carefully. 

It’s nothing like those time-stop movie scenes, the time doesn’t slow down nor does he gasp with fake shock. But inside the box, there’s a shiny watch he’s been eyeing for month. The one that makes him walk home by taking a further route just so he can ogle it from the display window. It doesn’t even cost that much, but he thought, maybe later – I _need_ to save for an emergency, right? 

“How did you know?” 

“Just a small ‘thank you’ would do, really.” 

“..Thank you. Jongdae.” 

If it’s possible, Jongdae’s grin grows even wider. Baekhyun briefly wonders how deep he can fall for this man. And not so briefly about how perfect they would be if they got together. 

If another big piece of his heart is gone, he doesn’t even notice. 

__

_In this world – this small part of the universe –, your heart is precious in another way. That’s why people trust less, scared and hiding their feelings behind a thick wall of defense._

"Where are we going, Dae?" 

"Nowhere in particular." 

"Are we lost?!" 

"Of course not," Jongdae snickers. 

"Then where are we going?" 

"Anywhere, somewhere, everywhere." 

"..Alright." 

He hums. Anywhere, that doesn't sound too bad. Alright, it doesn't matter anyway – Jongdae is right beside him –, they're together. They could stroll along all day long and he'd never get bored. Well, maybe a little tired, but it's okay. They're okay. 

Alright. 

_It is a scary world._

“You bought a birthday present for him!” Minseok accuses. 

“Who?” 

“Jongdae!” 

Baekhyun nods distractedly, trying to come up with an awe-inspiring lyric. He doesn’t understand why he has to compose a song, really. It’s not his major, and he sucks at it. He envies Sehun. That lisp kid got lucky and paired with Yixing. Gentle and considerate Yixing who agrees to write the song and let Sehun write the lyrics. 

(“Yixing! You can’t do that! It’ll be like, kissing your grade goodbye!” 

“No, it’s not! This will be the best song ever; I’m going to spit fire!” 

“There’s a rapping part?!” 

“You bet.” 

“Yixing!”) 

While he, The Miserable Byun Baekhyun got paired with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo who spits fire even when he doesn’t do rap and comes up with disturbing ideas such as making two entirely different songs and combine them together. 

Who’s going to kick his ass if he can’t came up with – Kyungsoo said, and he quotes – ‘A World Quality and Amazing Lyrics with No Plagiarism and Slacking If You Still Want To Live Until – 

“Baekhyun! You’re not listening to me!” 

He groans. “Yes! Yes I did! I bought a present for you too, six months ago.” He curls in fetal position, wishing the floor to swallow him whole so he won’t need wake up ever again. 

“You bought me a box full of socks!” 

“You said Lu Han-hyung stole your socks!” 

“But you bought a bracelet for Jongdae, Baekhyun! And from what I suspect, it’s not a friendly kind of gift. It's pretty expensive – ” 

“How did you know?” 

(Not that it’s not true. It’s just - Jongdae bought him something expensive too, for his birthday and he wants to return the favor. If he caught Jongdae’s eyes sparkling when he spotted that bracelet and then wrinkling after they saw the price tag, Minseok doesn’t need to know.) 

“I saw it glinting and asked him.” 

“Yeah, okay. He said ‘thank you, Baek’ and never mentioned it ever again.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Minseok licks his lips. “The socks are cute by the way, Lu Han stole them and return the old one–” 

“I don’t even know if he’s gay or not.” 

Minseok stares at him. His face goes soft and – is that sadness? – Baekhyun doesn’t want to be pitied, so he sits and tries to look busy doing his thing. He hopes Minseok gets the message and just leaves him alone already. 

“Look, hyung, I’m really tired right now and kinda busy? Can we stop and _not_ talk about this later?” 

Minseok ignores his plea. “Are you? With Jongdae?” And Baekhyun want to pretend that he doesn’t understand what Minseok tries to imply or pretend that he doesn’t hear. 

But he sighs, “Yes, I am.” 

Minseok nods. “At least he always wears the bracelet.” 

“Yeah, I’m glad.” 

Because along with the bracelet, a big chunk of his heart is gone. 

_When you have a big heart; you trust too much, you give too much. You fall hard, you miss the hardest, you believe harder._

“Baekhyun!” 

He doesn’t have time to reacts before a huge figure gives him a bone crushing hug, “Hey! What the hell, Yeol?!” 

“I missed you, too!” 

Baekhyun giggles and lets Chanyeol nuzzle him for a while. “What do you want?” 

“Kyungsoo said you might want my help.” 

“With what?” 

“Seriously?” Chanyeol raises his eyebrow, “I’ll just go then.” 

Baekhyun frantically grabs Chanyeol elbow, clinging tightly. “Wait! Okay, okay. I need your help with those goddamn lyrics, happy now?” 

“Not really, but I guess I’ll help,” Chanyeol grins. “Now come on, I’ll help you and then we can pick Kyungsoo up!” 

“What? Now?” 

“Yes? Kyungsoo wants us to hangout together and writing lyrics isn’t exactly gonna get finished in one go, so..” 

Baekhyun chews his bottom lip, not really listening to Chanyeol’s chattering. “I promised to meet someone, right now actually." 

“Now?” 

“Yes, actually he’s coming this way.” 

He waves at Jongdae excitedly and nudges Chanyeol’s ribs – whispering ‘behave’. The taller lets out a soft grunt but doesn’t protest. Jongdae is approaching them with a smile, his eyes twitching slightly and Baekhyun wonders if there’s something bothering him. 

“Actually, maybe I should go. We can do that thing later.” Chanyeol pats his back before making a hasty exit, disappearing before Jongdae comes any closer. 

“Who was that?” 

Baekhyun smiles, “That’s Chanyeol, the engineering major I told you about.” 

“You two seem very close.” 

He nods. Jongdae wears crisp button up today with his favorite sneaker and Baekhyun’s gift - the bracelet dangling innocently. Baekhyun can’t shake his feeling that they’re going out on a date. He shakes his head. No, this is not a date, it’s just friendly outing – 

“What?” Jongdae’s voice bought him to reality. “You nod and then shake your head, are you two close or not?” 

“Oh, we are. Very _very_ close. Now, are you ready to go?” 

“Okay,” Jongdae seems distracted. “Yeah, you know what, let’s just go.” 

_You love too fast, you love too much, and it always seems you hurt the most._

“My eyebrows are slanted when I sing.” 

Baekhyun knows. “That’s your trademark isn’t it? It’s cool.” 

“Well, if you put it like that, I guess it is.” 

__

_People used to say Baekhyun has the biggest heart like it was the saddest thing in the whole world._

He hates Jongdae sometimes. His mischievous laugh, fluffy hair, mouth curling smile and excessive whining. He hates their playful banter and _friendly_ touches. He hates that they can’t seem to move past what they have. 

Baekhyun hates Jongdae. 

Because he’s on the last piece of his heart, while Jongdae’s is still whole. 

_He understands now._

“Jongdae has been pestering me. What’s with you people?” 

Baekhyun has been avoiding Jongdae for almost a week now. He thinks maybe he can start to avoid Minseok too, if the older doesn’t leave him alone. “I’m working, hyung. Can’t this wait until much _much_ later?” 

Minseok glares at him. 

It all started when he caught Jongdae and Heize – Jongdae’s classmate – working on a mock up model together. And the day after, and after – in the cafeteria, library or just laughing on the sidewalk. It’s nothing personal, but he thought – he’s scared – that maybe it’s some fucked up code from the universe telling him to back off and forget about everything. 

He ignores Jongdae’s texts and calls. And after a while, he just disappears. It’s easy, with none of their programs intersecting if they don’t make the effort. The distance helps, too. 

Jongdae is persistent though, because he’s just pushing through the glass door and smiling at Baekhyun like it's just any normal day. “Hey, Baek!” His bracelet shines under the light. 

Baekhyun only nods and gives Minseok his coffee (it’s really predictable, what with how Minseok seems sheepish after texting on his phone). “I can help whoever is next.” 

“I’m next!” 

“What is your order, Sir?” 

“Can I order you, Baek?” Jongdae raises his eyebrow. “With less sass and feisty attitude?” 

“Are you gonna order or not?” Baekhyun says. “Sir.” He adds as an afterthought. 

“You’ve been acting weird. Did I do something wrong?” 

Baekhyun sighs. He feels miserable and tired and he’s been missing the other man like crazy, it’s not helping that Jongdae seems genuinely concerned. He steps back and mutters a desperate plea-of-help to his co-worker. Taehyung looks like he’s ready to object, but agrees when he takes a look at Baekhyun. Maybe he _is_ miserable. 

“I’m sorry, my friend will take your order,” He mumbles at Jongdae before trying to flee to the backroom. 

He doesn’t hear Jongdae’s voice, but another more feminine voice calls after him. “Hey, Baekhyun, right? Jongdae’s told me so much about you, it’s a pleasure that we finally get to meet.” 

Baekhyun stops in his tracks and gives an awkward nod, “Byun Baekhyun.” 

Jongdae is watching them, he can tell. He even comes with her, in what Baekhyun assumes was ‘a pursuit of him’. Well, what’s left to say? There’s certainly nothing left to guess. Might as well act like a jerk and make a scene himself. 

“I’m Da Hye, but people call me Heize,” She smiles. 

Baekhyun smiles. 

He’s so tired. Maybe this is supposed to happen. Maybe Jongdae wasn’t his from the start, and maybe he never will be. Maybe this girl – woman? – in front of him can make Jongdae happy. More happier than Jongdae can ever be when he’s with him. Maybe he should disappear for real and let them happy without pretense. He smiles. 

And he lets go of the last piece of his heart – 

It is over. 

_'I give all my heart to you.'_

That, however, is not the end of this story. 

Because when Baekhyun lets go, he’s still breathing. He’s alive and there’s a steady pounding of a heartbeat inside of him. He realizes with a start that all this time when his heart was staying with Jongdae, Jongdae’s was staying with him. Making him whole, and filling him with so much love that he’s unconsciously suppressed. 

Because even if he has a big heart, he’s still scared. 

“Baek? Are you okay?” Jongdae is already beside him, and Baekhyun only partially comprehends that he’s clutching at the younger man – nearly falling to the floor if not for Jongdae. 

“Jongdae? Jongdae!” 

“Yes? Baekhyun, I’m here. What’s wrong, talk to me please?” Jongdae face contorts in worry. “Hyung! Call 911, I think –” 

“No, I’m okay. It’s just – wow!” He shifts to hug Jongdae, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Maybe he cries a little as well. “I thought I was going to die.” 

“Hey, don’t cry. You know I wouldn’t let that happen.” 

He definitely cries a river. 

After the sobs have died, they sit in the corner of the coffee shop and he stares at Jongdae. The man is smiling solemnly and he knows instantly that Jongdae _knows_ what just happened back there. He wonders – 

“I love you.” That’s not what he wants to say – so underrated and dull in comparison to what he really feels. But for now, its enough. 

“I know,” Jongdae kiss his cheek. “And my heart is yours.” 

_When Baekhyun falls too hard, trust too much and loves with all he got, Jongdae is there._

("She's Dreaming." 

Kyungsoo looks sceptical. "Who's dreaming?" 

"It's the title, you idiot! Jongdae helped me write that." 

"Don't be so smug, I finished mine long time ago. Heaven, Chanyeol helped me and you don't hear me bragging about it." 

"Whatever. This song is special, it sounds sad but it's actually not. Well, maybe a little sad." 

"I didn’t ask." 

"Damn it! Let's just get on with this because I know you have a date and so do I." 

"We should works on this." Kyungsoo hums. "But you know what, let's deal with it later." 

"Deal!” Baekhyun practically jumps from his seat. “Jongdae, lets do something cheesy and go picnic at the mausoleum!" 

"It’s museum!") 

_It is a special world._

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on my [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/ininawaa?s=09)


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